I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
