According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
