so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
