Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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