I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love accidental penises.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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