Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
