Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Small penises have feelings too.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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