Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
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