I wish i was in the wii world.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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