I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
