yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
