and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
