Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
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He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
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I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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