i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
