i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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