ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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