Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
