do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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