I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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