...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
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I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
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I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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