I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Randomize
