you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
