singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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