apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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