I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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