They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
