my vag is so smooth its legendary
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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