how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
