I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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