There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
