she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
