Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
