dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she looked like the before picture.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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