you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
