Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
