why didn't you poke me back
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
