I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Can Purell be used as lube?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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