I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
