Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
