I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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