We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
