She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I need water and some morals
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
