I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
