she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
