So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
