I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
