Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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