those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
pray to the hookup gods
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
