first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
