someone owes me an orgasm
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
