You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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