i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
