I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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