Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize