oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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