theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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