can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just cropdusted the office
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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