Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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