You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so let's talk penis.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
