He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
