we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
