You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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