My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
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She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
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Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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