i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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