You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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