oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
