It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
